I’m not entirely sure what to call this statement — and maybe the title isn’t the point. Over the past month, as I’ve written, reflected, and examined what I seek, what I cling to, how I define sustainable self‑care, and which parts of my character I value or am ready to release, I’ve been working toward distilling it all into one coherent expression. Is it an identity statement? A personal vision statement? Something like a north star? It feels like a blend of all of these — a clear, honest articulation of who I am right now and the direction I’m choosing next.
This part of phase one has been brutal. I made myself sit down and name a list of questions — some I knew would be straightforward, and others I didn’t realize would be so fucking hard to face. The truth is, even thinking about the answers was hard. And actually, writing down the facts, in print, were hard to digest – hard to see on my computer screen.
Here we go:
I am consistently accountable and reliable. I show up as a present, active listener, and I honor the rules and structures that keep people safe. I accept others in their truest form — not to fix them, but to understand them, to better see the shape of our relationships. I lead every day, in every moment, with compassion and a genuine desire to see the best in people. I am a nurturer.
I am equal parts logical, empathetic, and principled. I meet challenges with kindness and understanding, trusting that this combination yields the strongest outcomes. I am pragmatic and diplomatic, steady in my approach and intentional in how I move through the world. I am a leader; I am organized in thought and action.
I strive to be more brave. I aspire to be more honest with myself and more transparent with others. I am continually working to understand my behaviors and to strengthen my capacity for self‑accountability. I want to become better at ending relationships that don’t serve me and breaking cycles that repeat simply because they feel familiar. I want to be more honest and clearer with others — in friendships and in relationships — especially when the truth is essential for them and difficult for me. I hope to grow more comfortable asking for help, and accepting it without fearing I’ll lose control or inconvenience someone else.
I am energized first and foremost by laughter — finding the perfect joke at the perfect moment, like a needle in a haystack. I feel alive when I fall into silly banter or when someone challenges me intellectually. These are the moments when I fall in love with myself again. I thrive when I reach a state of flow at work, in my writing, or in conversation with others.
Fitness, art, and planning parties, gatherings, or trips have been consistent threads in my identity for as long as I can remember — that sweet spot where logic, creativity, and planning meet. I love completing a task: cleaning a closet, crossing something off my list, helping a friend reach an important conclusion.
I like adventure (with a healthy amount of planning), yet I feel wild and free when someone I care about helps me be spontaneous. I am constantly chasing that feeling of freedom — feeling alive in a world that is often sweet but monotonous. I yearn for days of dancing with friends, getting dressed up, laughing with strangers.
I refuse to compromise when asked to make a judgment before I understand the facts, read the information, or grasp the personalities involved. I will never blindly follow others. I will support people to the limits of my bandwidth and capacity, and I will always ask, How can I support you?
I know I am capable of being a well‑rounded, giving friend and partner, and I hope to embody that part of myself fully when I am ready.
I struggle to remember the last time — or the last person — I was fully myself with. That is hard to admit, and rooted in years of either losing the truest version of myself or reshaping it to fit neatly into the worlds of others. My ambition now is to relinquish just enough control to be myself again, as fully as possible, and to rediscover how special that feeling once was.
I endeavor to see, and to be seen. To trust, and to be fully trustworthy. To create, to play, to dance, to immerse myself in both the goodness and the challenges of life while remaining steadfast to this personal oath.
This exercise was fucking hard. It’s an honest accounting of where I am and where I hope to go. It feels wild — and just a little unsettling — to put it out on the internet, but here I am anyway, fully committed to my wild era.
